I remember stories of people I met,in a very renowned old age home I visited few years back. It is so well maintained by sisters. Even then the inmates long for their own children,for their love and companionship.The Stories brought tears to my eyes. How can we do this to them !
It is so sad that in so many cases,grandparents are treated badly,looked upon as burden,as people who interfere in our lives,made to stay alone in their old age,ignored or ill-treated,sometimes left in old age homes.
I believe our grandparents should be given more love,more care and attention than we normally do. Not because we want them to “babysit” our kids or we “want their money or property” or “want them to help out in our housework.”
We must give them our love,care and attention:
-Because they are our parents parents (think about the status of parents and our duties to them),
-Because we are their children and when we were small,irritating,dirty,ill-mannered,incapable-they took care of us,gave us love and everything that we are and we have and have become today.
And now that we have it all,we tend to neglect,to forget,to become distant from them and start treating them selfishly,as a means to get what we want,to get our selfish needs met, Why ?
Why do we forget that one day we will also grow old? That one day we will long for that same love,for the same respect and care from our own children. And maybe if we have not done our duty to our elderly,maybe the cycle may repeat and our children will do the same to us when we become elderly.
When you are young-there will be times when you will be doing “your thing” and they would want help or your time or company or they want to tell you something. Yes,you are “busy”,you need “space”,you need “alone time”, you have your “own work and duties” but there is a way-to convey,to tell,to express,that does not hurt them.
As they grow old,they may become more sensitive,they may get hurt easily or start crying or get angry for small things or say something you may not like but again remember what you will gain if you are patient and a little more kind.
What will you gain ? Reward from God,their prayer,love,affection (even they may not express all the time but we tend to create a special place in their heart). Above all,be good and kind to them because you are a human being who knows about being human too,to everyone around you.
If you have an elderly person in your family,remember they are the jewels,the treasures,the guide books,the most important trainers,story tellers,advisors and counsellors.
My dad had a very close and strong relationship with his grandparents. Alhamdulillah,I feel blessed to have the same with both my maternal and paternal grandparents (my nana-may Allah bless his soul passed away this month). May God guide us and grant us wisdom to fulfill our duties towards them and be kind to all elderly (not just on their face but also behind their backs.) Ameen