Did you transgress any of Allah’s limits when going through that marriage process?
E.g. a couple who are very happy with their engagement at first, might start talking to each other all the time via cell phone, emails and sms messages; perhaps even go out on a date – all of which are actions against the commands of Allah. (I am not going to quote any fatawa here because every authentic fatwa website is full of them. Every scholar and religious authority is unanimous about the fact that fiances should not converse freely with each other)
Within some time,Shaitan does his work on them and makes them dislike each other, because their increased familiarity and frankness might reveal some faults and shortcomings that could turn one or both of them off about the other being a suitable life partner/spouse.
This is something I have seen happen a lot to couples who are religiously inclined – who intend to marry each other for pleasing Allah, and hope to lead a marital life and raise a family according to Allah’s pleasure, by adhering to Islam in principle and deed.
For such couples, the traps of Shaitan vary from, say, the traps he lays out for those couples who have little or no knowledge of Islam and who do not practice the obligations of the religion.
The latter are easy prey for Shaitan– all he has to do is make them believe that the lustful, romantic love they feel during the engagement phase is actually the real thing.
So he easily makes them blind to the harsh realities of life that lie ahead in their marriage, making them focus only on the sexual part, driving them crazy with lust about what is to come on their wedding night. That night is all they think about and look forward to.
It is the religious couples who are about to get married that require some harder work from Shaitan, our accursed, devious but intelligent enemy. He knows that if this couple were to get married, they’d fortify each other, help each other in Deen, become each other’s religious support in life, and raise children who will be strong, confident Muslims in the future. So he preys on them using a different, more subtle tactic.
He pounds them with doubts, fears, insecurities, and perhaps even succeeds in making them seem ugly, too rigid, too overweight, short, dark or in any way unseemly to each other. He whispers little-nothings into the ears of their parents, siblings and friends, who, playing the part of the unsuspectingly manipulated forces ofShaitan, go about saying a sentence here, a remark there; dropping snide comments off and on, and casting doubts in the minds of the engaged couple:
1.“What? He called you just twice throughout your trip? My fiance used to call me every day, even long distance. Are you sure he even likes you?”
2.“She is quite average-looking . There is nothing wrong with going for beauty, you know. Don’t you know that there is a hadith that confirms that a woman is married for her beauty?”
3.“If he is treating you so indifferently right now, he will be even less caring towards you after marriage. Love wanes after marriage, as it is. The engagement phase should make you feel like you’re on a high – on cloud nine; breathless and excited! So why are you so mopey?”
4.“She is quite extravagant in her spending. Are you sure you’ll be able to maintain her? I mean, wanting to splurge Rs 35,000 on makeup, just for one night?”
And so, dear readers, long engagements between religious or even not-so-religiou s people sometimes break, despite the best intentions on both sides.
Shaitan succeeds in keeping two perfectly nice, eligible young Muslims still single and unhitched – unfortified and with unfulfilled sexual desires.
Outside the protective fortress of marriage, they continue to evade the blessings, comfort and happiness that rush forth when a man and woman unite through nikah– a sacred relationship that commences by taking Allah’s name – to live under one roof and become garments for each other.
Nay, the separated single Muslim couple now continue to move around lonely, miserable and confused in society — easy prey to Shaitan’s incessant traps.
Only this time, they erroneously lament their woes of still being single as “being the will of Allah”, when, in fact, it was they who fell for Shaitan’s enticements and succumbed to his false insinuations.
Beware of Shaytan.Seek refuge in Allah from the devil.