We often say this is haram.Dont do it.
Yet people do except a few who abstain.
When we tell others that do not celebrate Valentines day or do not indulge in girlfriend-boyfriend relationships,when we say such and such things are forbidden..people wont stop doing the haram things .
When we say something is wrong or forbidden,we have to tell them the best alternative-what is the right thing to do,what is permissible.
In this case,marriage is the best thing for two people who love each other.
The Prophet salallahu aleyhi wasallam as mentioned, recognized love as a natural feeling even if it was not consummated by marriage provided that it did NOT result into something that was unlawful or crossed the confines of the Shari’ah and the displeasure of Allah.
One such story is that of the companion Khansa bint Khadam. Khansa bint Khadam went to the Prophet salallahu aleyhi wasallam and told him that that she did not want to marry a particular man that her father forced on her and she said, “My cousin is more beloved to me.”
Narrated Khansa bint Khidam Al-Ansariya: that her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron and she disliked that marriage. So she went to Allah’s Apostle and he declared that marriage invalid.
At that time, she was a young woman but this did not stop her from expressing herself in front of the Prophet salallahu aleyhi wasallam about who she loved! And this man was Ar Rasool salallahu aleyhi wasallam, the Prophet of Allah.
“Halal and Haram love
“It is He who created you from one soul and created from it its mate that he might dwell in security with her…”
(Surah Al-Araf 7:189)
Masha’Allah that is what halal love is all about.
It is a balanced love in which the focus still remains on making sure we please Allah Subhannahu wa ta’ala every step of the way.
Haram love on the other end is a love that we seek ourselves selfishly without following the limits set by Allah Subhannahu wa ta’ala.
“And [yet], among the people are those who take other than Allah as equals [to Him].
They love them as they [should] love Allah. But those who believe are stronger in love for Allah. And if only they who have wronged would consider [that] when they see the punishment,
[they will be certain] that all power belongs to Allah and that Allah is severe in punishment.”
(Surah Baqarah 2:165)
Furthermore, we are strictly reminded in another passage of the Qur’an that Allah and His Messenger Sallahu alayhi wa salaam should always come first:
“Say, [O Muhammad], “If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, wealth which you have obtained, commerce wherein you fear decline, and dwellings with which you are pleased are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger and jihad in His cause, then wait until Allah executes His command. And Allah does not guide the defiantly disobedient people.”
(Surah At-Taubah 9:24)
To the believers, the cause of Allah is what matters the most, the way of life that is prescribed for them in the Qur’an, they do not make any compromises with anyone against that way of life, even to their much loved ones.
Thus we should always keep in mind that obeying Allah is the ultimate goal.
As soon as we engage in haram while seeking a spouse, Shaytan takes control and Allah’s baraka (blessing) vanishes because Shaitan’s work and Allah’s baraka do not coexist, just as truth and falsehood, halal and haram do not coexist.
A good example of this fact is when the companions were told how they would get rewarded for engaging in sexual acts with their spouses.
The Messenger of Allah, Sallahu alayhi wa salaam explained the fact that had they engaged in haram sexual acts, they would have been punished.
The difference between halal and haram love is clear. One brings us rewards in this life and the next, while the other one brings us doom in this life and the next.
“In the sexual act of each of you there is a sadaqa.” The Companions replied: “O Messenger of Allah! When one of us fulfils his sexual desire, will he be given a reward for that?”
And he said, “Do you not think that were he to act upon it unlawfully, he would be sinning? Likewise, if he acts upon it lawfully he will be rewarded.”
(Sahih Muslim Book #5 Hadith #2198)
May Allah forgive all of us who have unfortunately experienced haram love.
What I know now for sure is that halal love is worth the wait, it is worth the sacrifices; it is worth persevering in the obedience of Allah.
May Allah help all our single brothers and sisters seek only halal love. Ameen.”
We often say this is haram.Dont do it.